Glow.

Dear Glow Fairy,

     I think you must have taken my pregnancy glow to somebody else, because I am NOT glowing.

  Okay guys, most of these posts are going to be happy and loving. Today, though.. I shall vent. This pregnancy IS NOT what I was expecting. It is nothing like when I was pregnant with the girls. With the girls, I never showed until I was at least 6 months pregnant, my skin literally glowed, my hair grew, etc.  Ya'll, lets just talk about this baby. (FAIR WARNING TO HAPPY MOMS TO BE, THIS IS PROBABLY NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO BE READING)

     Lets start with this belly of mine. In the end, if I don't produce AT LEAST an 8 lb baby (or twins), I will be so mad. I am HUGE for being only 4 months, huge. Apparently the baby is only supposed to be the size of an orange or so at this point, I beg to differ. I am carrying a watermelon. 

     Spider veins. I could make a map on my legs (mainly my left leg) with the spider veins that have taken residency upon my poor legs. It was like somebody got a can of blue paint and just splattered my legs with it. 

     My skin. Folks, I can play connect the dots with what is going on with my face these days. Wasn't this supposed to happen in the first trimester? WHERE ARE THESE SPOTS COMING FROM. Every day Anna points out to me that I am hurt somewhere on my face, or she feels the need to tell me I have polka dots. Not amused. No amount of exfoliation is going to get rid of these suckers. Time to pile on the powder. (Who needs to glow when you have a fabulously caked face? )

     The hair. At this rate, I am going to have to shave my legs at a minimum of three times a day just to keep them feeling like sand paper. The transformation into chewbacca has commenced. I might as well just let it happen. 

    Boobs. Okay, so this one would not be bad, if they didn't rest on my HUGE stomach already. I feel like I completely skipped steps 1-10 where I am full and curvy and just went straight to being big and saggy. I keep reading all of these articles of people feeling so sexy at this stage in pregnancy. No, just no. I shed a few small tears every time I shower these days. 

    The hormones.... Oh.my.gosh. I don't even know where to begin. If it wasn't frowned upon to take antidepressants during pregnancy, I would be eating them like candy. B12 just isn't cutting it. My poor husband is probably scared to go to bed with me at night for fear that he will wake up to me standing over him with a spare pillow. I CANNOT CONTROL IT. I am literally a crazy person. Literally. I cry, all of the time. I cried because my husband asked if we had any (lets say fancy cakes.. or something) left... and we didn't because spermy over here ate the whole box. So I just sat there and cried. ( I was kind of ashamed that I ate the whole box alone.) Waterproof mascara ya'll, a prego's best friend. 

     My clothes don't fit. I am at the point where my belly hangs out of the bottom of all of my shirts, but I am carrying so low that I cant pull my pants up all of the way or else I look like I have something similar to a foopa. So my crotch basically sags down to my knees. Which is the lesser of two evils? You tell me. I cant wear jeans, at all. For a while I was able to just wear them and not button them. Nope, not happening.  THANK GOD FOR LEGGINGS AND PJ PANTS. If you see me on one of the "people of Walmart" sites, cant say I didn't tell you so. 

Oh, on a sweet note: Annabelle felt the baby move for the first time last weekend. My.Heart.Melted. (As pictured below.)

Baby is 16 weeks old. 

Baby is the size of an orange ( or watermelon.)

Baby has toenails!