Maps.

"Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul."

     Okay, of course like anybody in my situation, I have had my doubts and concerns about being in the situation that we are in. It made no sense to me, actually. I know that everything happens for a reason, but it sure is hard to chew and swallow that when that "everything" is happening to you. About a week ago, I found a picture of a little boys nursery on Pinterest, pinned it so I would have an idea on what to do if I had a boy, and continued my searching.  

  

    This screen shot was taken a few days ago, and note how it says "added 4 days ago" ( so more like 7.) 

I had gotten a comment on the picture about how cute that elephant was. I agreed, he was adorable.

The day after the comment I went to a baby "garage sale" at a church that one of my friends had gotten me a ticket for, and the first thing I saw when I walked in was this guy... Literally, he was the first thing I saw/touched/picked up. I didn't even think twice about it, I put him under my arm and carried on. 

     ECSTATIC that I had found an elephant close to the one in the picture I loved so much, I went on to search for how expensive maps are. ( really expensive when you are looking for one that size.)   I didn't think much of anything at that point. I was really happy about the elephant but my heart was not dead set on this nursery, I simply just thought it was pretty cute. On Saturday, Matt went out to check on the progress of the house. The room that we have designated for the baby had wood paneling on it that we wanted taken down. He called me, and told me I would never guess what was underneath the wood paneling on one of the walls..

A map. A map of the world covering the entire wall. I didn't believe it. WHAT ARE THE ODDS? Maps are not common wall decor, and we know nothing about the history of this house, or knew that anything was underneath that paneling. It literally gave me chills. I made him take a picture and send it to me so I could see it. I really was speechless. Unfortunately the map is ruined from the glue on the paneling, but none the less.... There it is. My sign. My map.

     Nobody knows why things happen the way they do, but I know without any uncertainty that this baby is supposed to be with us, and we are supposed to be in this house. It may not be an ideal situation to most people, but it is going to be perfect. This is exactly what is supposed to be happening, this was no accident. 

Backtracking.

Now that the initial shock is out of the way, we can back track and get everybody caught up to where I am now and HOW IN THE WORLD this happened.

About 8 months ago I switched birth control,  I was on an EXTREMELY  high dose of estrogen birth control to help me possibly gain weight, low and behold it turned me into a crazy person. So, they put me on a very lose dose birth control pill that was made to make me not have a period anymore. SO, it has been about 7 months since I have had a period. ( You can tell why I wasn't alarmed to not get a period this month.) I had just started a new pack of birth control and that weekend took a trip to Dallas. I ate every snack we brought along during the drive, and my sister had made a comment about me being pregnant. UH NO. I advised her it was only because I just started a new pack. While there, she made more comments on how bloated I was after I ate.... again, I didn't think anything of it. About two weeks after I got home, I was at the grocery store and Matt calls me while I am there. He tells me he thinks that I should pick up a pregnancy test.. I ask him "why?" His answer: "because I hadn't had a period in a while." I laughed and told him that that was on purpose, and I wasn't supposed to have a period. He still wanted me to get one..

I immediately started to panic, and think about Savannas comments, and realize the only other times Matt was really adamant about me getting a test, they were positive. I picked up a test and went home, unloaded the groceries and silently went to the bathroom.


Positive.


I ran to the store to pick up another one, positive.
Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who just gave me a hug and told me it would be okay.
After some days ( okay maybe weeks ) of crying, I snapped out of it and put together a game plan. Went to the doctor, confirmed my at home positive. Traded in my car, for a GIANT SUV with a third row, and decided being sad/stressed about the situation is not going to change it. I might as well accept it and enjoy it because it will be our last baby.

Now, how it happened...
I took my birth control like candy. One day, I took ONE amoxicillin, and immediately remembered that antibiotics canceled out birth control and never took another one.
I blame that one pill...

So, here we are now. I guess in the end it all makes sense and I should have paid more attention to the cues so I wouldn't have been so shocked. But, like I said before, being a parent is the best thing I have ever done. I have never been good at anything. I was never great at school or sports, I was never super popular.
But being a mom, its what I am supposed to be doing.

The other day Anna was telling me how she would "love me forever" and how we were best friends. I am glad she sees me that way. Because they are my best friends. Matt too. I have the best little family in the world and adding one more to it is just going to make it that much more fun.

The Beginning of something new.

Hello friends, I have decided I wanted to start a blog about our life, the kids, and the things in our life that we will be accomplishing. 

About one month ago we found out some huge news.. Baby Caswell #3 is on the way! It was definitely not planned, according to the Dr. sometimes birth control just fails. ( Clearly. ) It took me a really long time to adjust to this idea, and I am still trying to get used to it. We had everything planned and ready to go to buy a house that accommodated a family of FOUR, a car that fit FOUR and so on and so forth. Then we find out this! My plans came crashing down, and suddenly we needed a new game plan. We have decided that the house buying will be put on hold for a couple of years, while we renovate a house outside of town to save up some money for a house that will better fit a family of FIVE. Can you believe that? F.I.V.E. Also, can you picture us attempting to do manual labor on a house? LOL. It will make for some fantastic memories, though.

But, every baby is a blessing. I have a wonderful husband, a wonderful marriage, we are financially stable, and being a parent is by far the best/ most fun thing I have ever done. So, whats one more? Baby is due October 19th ( a fall baby for once! ) 

I will keep everybody updated on the house and the pregnancy as it progresses.

As for now:

Baby is 8 weeks into development.

I have NEVER been so hungry for EVERYTHING in my life.

No morning sickness yet!

And one excited husband.

Until next time.